lil dude

by Jack Off Vacation

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1.
00:56
2.
02:16
3.
4.
02:18
5.
02:24

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released December 4, 2013

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Jack Off Vacation Towson, Maryland

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Track Name: winter
I wake up, forget to brush my teeth
I tie my shoes and I walk outside
I forgot it’s winter again
Reminding me of the time
You asked me to hold your hands
And gently blow on them
Until they felt alright
I can’t feel the tip of my nose
Or the hunger in my stomach
I can't remember the last time
I fell asleep
Track Name: selfish
don’t you ever cut
your own fucking pancakes
my older brother shouted
the veins visible in his head

it never dawned on me
i only felt alive in my thumbs
forcing a man on a skateboard
to dance in the dusty television

my mother said be nice
he is only 11 and you are 18
my father stared and said its fine
he’ll just never wipe his own ass

i felt smaller than the fibers
in the carpet.
the game was paused but
superman by goldfinger
kept shouting the words
“I’m growing older all the time”

i stared at a screen and cried
for the next 3 hours
and waited for someone
to pick me up like a baby

my parents fell asleep
on the couch and
my brother drove away
and all i wanted to do was grow.
Track Name: 4 years later and i still wish i had an exoskeleton
I wanna be stronger than the dirt
That holds together the worms in love
I wanna have more guts
Than the man who stabbed his own belly
I want to hold this earth with the shape of my fist
And be something to love and fear

I wish I had an exoskeleton. I’d scare away my enemies and be stronger than you
I wish I had an exoskeleton. Fear you, and you’d fear me.
I wish I had an exoskeleton. You’d fear me and I’d fear you.
Track Name: fingers
I hate the way our eyelashes touch when they're in bed.
I hate the way our fingertips caress each other's backs.
Your leg is wrapped around mine and I'm guilty and actually
thinking it is nice. I'm tired of falling in love, I'd like to make a friend.
I'm tired of falling in love, I'd like to make a friend. What a beautiful time to shut the fuck. Sit with you in the dark and talk about what's on the moon. It's probably not a huge banana farm. You're fucking crazy. I'm glad you're my friend. I'm glad i'm your friend.
Track Name: water bottle
I wore clothes blacker than
the hair caught in my drain.

Soos wore the devil
on two pale shoulders.

We don’t find comfort in one another.

Here is your bottle.
It is time for bed.

Clenched lips crack open
and let poison seep in.

I am confusing empty for euphoria, again.

My 15 year-old stomach
danced like older men.

Tears rolled down my face
like men singing their work song.

Plastic tastes like waves on Halloween.

My throat caught fire
like my neighbor’s house.

My tiny waist and pointed nose
felt imperfectly aligned.

You flew off with a purple bird and left me on a wall.

My vision worked like hands of clocks
spinning around and finding no end .

I wondered how hot it must feel
to be standing under lights.

I knew none of these people and they didn’t know me.