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selfish

from lil dude by Jack Off Vacation

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lyrics

don’t you ever cut
your own fucking pancakes
my older brother shouted
the veins visible in his head

it never dawned on me
i only felt alive in my thumbs
forcing a man on a skateboard
to dance in the dusty television

my mother said be nice
he is only 11 and you are 18
my father stared and said its fine
he’ll just never wipe his own ass

i felt smaller than the fibers
in the carpet.
the game was paused but
superman by goldfinger
kept shouting the words
“I’m growing older all the time”

i stared at a screen and cried
for the next 3 hours
and waited for someone
to pick me up like a baby

my parents fell asleep
on the couch and
my brother drove away
and all i wanted to do was grow.

credits

from lil dude, released December 4, 2013

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Jack Off Vacation Towson, Maryland

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